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Who knew that a twelve-foot trike, when broken up into digestable bits, could easily cover an entire backyard? (It did!)
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the indestructibles...
It's always surprising to see what can survive extreme heat, biting cold, torrential rain and forgetful
adventurers. In fifteen months, what few things have we managed to keep from beginning to end?
1. These four bungee cords
2. The odometer and headlight
3. Two out of three bike locks
4. All 6 Pocket Farkel dice
5. The bottle of insect repellant
6. Eddie Bauer CD holder
7. Wilson, Wally, Aimee & I
Then, of course, there are the memorable losses along the way, like that third bike lock we lost in Hervey Bay on day 4. Here
are a few of the bits that were put out to pasture, or simply went MIA...
1. Mr. Skinnylegs' head - Bodalla, NSW
2. The upside-down bin - Margaret River, WA
3. Mess Kit - Halfway down Lake Leake Hill, Tas.
4. Tropicana deck of cards - Rainstorm in the Kimberley
5. Mold-A-Rama Liberty Bell - Disappeared! Sorry, kid!
Wherever you are, we miss you!
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these are the unanswered contests in our neighbourhood...
We always let these drag on, don't we? I think that's why people don't enter them anymore... they just know that (a) we keep forgetting to tell you the answers and (b) we rarely announce the winners, or send prizes for that matter. Hey, we're busy, okay?
I was trying to find a way to make the answers appear upside down, but it wasn't worth it. In any case, here they are.
 Two Truths and a Lie - Week 16
Sam can't play the Didgeridoo, Tom is actually 11th in line for a Scottish Lordship, Franziska chokes when she has beer through her nose, and Toby's never MC'd anywhere in London, not even on his birthday, which happens to be Australia Day.
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 What the Hell is This? - Week 25
We gave you this visual teaser way back. You've had a lot of time to ponder, and many of you came up with the correct answer - it's a trail of catapillars! Although it looks like a piece of wool, these smart creepy crawlies are joined together out in the open to discourage birds from grabbing a quick lunch.
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 Where's Dorko? - Week 29
(1) Dorko's in Washington DC, in front of the Jefferson Monument (2) Dorko's in Lebanon, Kansas, Geographical centre of the 48 states (3) Dorko's in Memphis (4) Dorko's in Toon Town, Disneyland (5) Dorko's at the Pony Express Station (6) Dorko's in Belle Fourche, centre of the 50 states.
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 How Old is Nana? - Week 31
It was Nana's birthday in Albany, and we celebrated with a huge cake. Although many of you attempted to guess her age, the only person to get this right was Kev's Mom. Nana certainly doesn't look her age - a whopping ninety-one years old! She'd be almost ninety-two by now! She hardly looks a day over seventy.
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 A Toughie But Goodie - Week 32
A bikky is a biscuit, a prezzie is a present, the hossie is the Hospital, Chrissy is Christmas, the telly is a TV, barbie's a BBQ, the Pokies are the gambling machines, pinnies are pinball, anything exy is expensive, a soapy is either a soap opera or a laundromat, chokkies are chocolates, ciggies are cigarettes, rellies are relatives, and curry is just curry.
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 What the Hell is This? - Week 42
Eric Grant has been around long enough to know that this is an old-fashioned money-transfer cable is the supermarket. Back in the day, money was transferred from the office down to the cash register. No money was actually kept at the till, and the office managers could oversee the entire operation. Sneaky!
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 Who's Wally Wombat? - Week 48
(1) Mmm, Coffee! (2) Tess! How I loved her! (3) I got gold teef on Week Firty Five! (4) Stromatolites! That's fun to say! (5) Rove, of course (6) Kermit the Frog is eating me! (7) Farts are fast, but the answer is 290km/h (8) Gadzooks! The answer is Gadzooks! Congratulations, Krista Wise!
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 You Don't Know Jack! - Week 52
Except for the citrus harvester, the Shelby Mustang and the rights to Freddy Fuddrucker, everything else about him is true! Even the bit about Cybill Sheppard! And the five heart attacks! What an amazing guy. (By the way, the guy who owns the Australian rights to Freddy Fuddrucker was back on Week 46, in case you were interested.)
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where's wally wombat?
Well, boys and girls, it's time to close the book on another Beimers.com adventure. I'm dressed in my pilot suit, since I'll
be the one flying the plane to glorious New Zealand. Jeepers! I don't even know how to fly!
I think I'll contact the Guinness Book of Records to see if I qualify to be the first wombat to bike around Australia!
Wouldn't that be something! Of course, I didn't really do any of the biking. Maybe I'll just be the first wombat to travel
around Australia in a camera case!
Now that you don't have me to entertain you, I have two great suggestions to keep you busy. One: Go back
and look for me on every page of the site starting on Week 12! Two: You can use the
form below to congratulate Kevin, Aimee, and me on the completion of our excellent adventure! Party on dudes, and see you in New Zealand!
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Why the sponsor?
click here to see what we just did!
flight of fancy
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Why is Mr. Flight Centre wearing that cheeky grin? Perhaps, kiddies, he's smiling because he just won our contest. It wasn't
the Big Things in Australia contest, or the How Old is Nana contest from week 31. It's not even one of our many What The Hell Is
Thises. He went and won a contest that wasn't on the site, and wasn't even open to anyone besides Kev & I. It was the How
Cheap Can We Get Back To Canada contest! And Mr. Flight Centre stole our thunder.
You see, New Zealand is very stringent when it comes to immigration. I guess they don't want people coming into the country,
seeing what an incredible place it is, and staying forever. So, in order to get in, you have to prove that you're someday
getting out.
And so, we set out on an internet quest. I found two tickets for $3500, Wellington to Thunder Bay. Kev came back with $3300.
Then we started to get creative, saying that we could fly nearby and get picked up, or fly to Vancouver and pick up a cheap
internal flight. We bounced the prices back and forth, and I think I was in the lead with $2958. Then Geoff (Mr. Flight
Centre) had to stick his nose in and take my winnings away. $2450. How could he?
Looks like he gets the prize: both airline meals on the flight home. Let's just see him collect.
David: "I still haven't finished Spiderman since you left."
Kevin: "Are you serious? I finished it last night."
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let the bells ring out
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It's been ages since we've seen Emma, Jess and Millie, and they've all grown about three inches. We, on the other hand, have merely grown our hair.
We've been really looking forward to spending Christmas at David's place, especially with the three girls. Not that we'd say no to another Christmas with Wyatt Edwards, but there's something to be said for having a tree, lights, presents, stockings, early morning excitement, and the whole Christmas package wrapped into one big morning frenzy of paper-tearing excitement.
Now if only I could stop sweating so much, it would almost be perfect.
"Millie, stop trying your hardest to be a badass and smile!"
- Kevin.
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bikes in box
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Yipes! Today is the day we've been dreaming of for at least six months.... It's the day the bikes cease to function. Oh
sure, we've had other days when the bikes have ceased to function, and it wasn't pretty. But today we want them to come
apart.
The frames are being unscrewed, the tires deflated, the chains degreased, and the entire mess wiped and polished to pass
quarantine. I know we've mentioned this before, but it's very surreal to be taking them apart in the very same backyard that we put them
together in fifteen months ago. It almost makes it seem like it was all a dream. As we polish the frames to a high
finish, we realize that the only proof we have that we went anywhere is the occasional scratch, and a couple of unmatched
screws. But we could have picked those up at any Bunnings, even right here in Brisbane.
nbsp;
Was it all a dream? Hahaahaha.
Wouldn't that have been funny, if we woke up today and found out that we hadn't gone anywhere and we still had the entire
trip ahead of us! I think I would cry.
"Is there any point in packing the music stand?"
- Kevin.
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stocking full of guilt
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Let me fill you in on how we spent Christmas. After a fun-filled morning of unwrapping presents and making the girls pose
with sleepy smiles, they went off and spent the day with rellies. That left us alone for the rest of the day to celebrate
Christmas our way - talking with family and friends on the phone. You would have thought this was a good experience, but
it didn't go as well as we'd planned. You see, for some reason, my sister came up with this theory that we were going home
to Thunder Bay to surprise the family just like when we did on the roadtrip.
The rumour spread. Favourite foods were purchased. By the end of Christmas eve, I think most of Thunder Bay was convinced
we were on the next flight in. Yet, in reality, we were still in Brisbane, knee-deep in bike grease and assorted suitcases.
We didn't find out any of this until we made the Christmas call home. Then, all hell broke loose. There were some very
upset siblings and parents that we weren't at home. How could we possibly be away for another Christmas!?!
Somehow, it was our fault. According to Aimee's sister, we tricked everyone into thinking we weren't coming home, and
then we went and didn't. We're so evil! Of course, the end result of this was that not only did we miss everybody a
normal holiday amount, but now we were made to feel guilty because we ruined Christmas. I'm pretty sure we were the innocent
party in all of this, but it sure didn't feel like it.
How could we have resolved this issue? Perhaps by not traipsing around the world like the adventurers we are, staying home
and getting "real" jobs or perhaps even the dreaded "settling down." It all sounds nice, but think how boring that would be
to read about!
"Tyrone just died in the pool! Quick! Let's put somebody else in the pool!"
- Jess, playing the Sims.
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tada:
(ex.) Goodbye. Talk to you later. Similiar to "tootle-loo". Very amusing for overseas callers because it tends to sound like the end of a magic trick, or a bit fairyish. 
follow in our toeclips
the last supper
welcome to middle earth
